Mum ‘humiliated’ by parents after she couldn’t afford £40 for nursery teacher's gift

26 June 2019, 06:49 | Updated: 26 June 2019, 06:56

A mum was shamed for not giving £40 to the nursery collection. Picture: Getty Images

By Naomi Bartram

A mum took to Netmums to vent after being asked to contribute towards her kid's teachers' end of year presents.

A mum has revealed her shock after being asked to pay £40 towards end of term presents for teachers at her three-year-old son’s nursery.

In a post on Netmums, the woman explained that she was left “humiliated” when she couldn’t afford to chip in for the gift collection.

Explaining the situation, the woman - called Ema - revealed that some parents asked for donations to get the teachers something special via a WhatsApp group.

But when she handed over £25 instead of the whopping £40, one of the mums rejected her offer saying it “wasn’t fair” on the other parents who gave more money.

A mum was left mortified when she was asked to pay £40 for a gift. Picture: Getty Images

"I explained we have to budget and that’s how much I can spend," the 40-year-old wrote.

"I was shocked to receive a text couple of hours later saying it is not fair towards the other mums to pay so much less then them and I am putting her in an awkward position and she will give me my £25 back!"

Following the awkward text conversation, the next day, Ema decided to confront the mum outside nursery.

She continued: "I tried to explain that I am happy to have my money back and even though we have a difference of opinions I wanted to agree on closing this issue with getting my money back and asked her not to discuss this with other mums since I wouldn’t like to polarise our group and keep on friendly terms with all parents.

"She seemed to be offended when she saw she will not make me share her opinion.

"She tried very emotionally to explain how unfair it would be to accept my £25 towards the others to which I told her I cannot understand that, if it’s unfair that perhaps the teachers will think we all gave the same amount."

Ema then went on to say she’d been left feeling “humiliated” by the incident, but had no choice because £25 was as much as she could afford.

“I am probably still in a bit of after-shock,” she added, “[I] feel humiliated and despite the school mum’s effort to enlighten me, I still feel it was unethical and that this should not be happening in the 21st century.”

And it’s fair to say Netmums users were firmly on her side, with many agreeing £40 was far too high for a present.

One user replied: "£40 per person for a teacher seems astronomical but with any collection of this kind, I have never heard of anyone asking for set amounts and particularly that high.

Ema was given her money back after she contributed £25. Picture: Getty Images

"I would always be saying 'give what you can give' – I mean even a much smaller amount of £5 is still contributing to the gift…it really comes across as a vanity project to do it this way.”

Another commented: "As a nursery teacher I would be absolutely mortified by this!

"Yeah it’s nice for parents to show their appreciation, but not by collecting/ spending this much money!"

While a third shocked parent added: "When you said £40 i thought thats what she was hoping to get, combined, not each. What gift are they getting her? A car??? I've never spent more than a token £5 on teacher gifts, i usually get the kids to make something personal."