First time Dad in furious row with parents and in-laws after creating list of rules for visiting newborn

25 November 2019, 12:58

By Alice Dear

One father has been scolded by his parents and his in-laws after he and his wife issued a list of rules they must follow when visiting the newborn.

An anonymous Reddit user has divided fellow parents after revealing on the social media platform he created rules for visitors of his newborn son.

The unknown man and his wife welcomed their first child, a boy, just before the weekend and, of course, their family have been excited to visit the little one.

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However, the man – who posts under the name u/Mission_Ear – said that he and his wife put together a list of rules they wanted their families to follow when visiting the little one.

He explains that: “Neither of our families are super clear on the whole ‘boundaries’ deal when it comes to newborns”, which prompted them to create the list.

He added: “I’m a very anxious new parent, so when we decided that we'd have people come and meet our son, I sent an email out to everyone who said they wanted to come visit.”

The email sent included the following rules:

- No one who is sick is to visit the newborn

- No one under the age of 18 is to visit the newborn

- Visitors must wear light perfume or aftershave

- Visitors must pre-plan what time they will be visiting

- Only visit between 9-5

- Visits should be an hour maximum

- No gifts, as they’re annoying to get home

- Only 3-4 people visiting at one time

While most of the new parents’ friends and family took the email seriously and followed the set-out rules, the man’s parents and in-laws did not.

“My parents show up at about noon, while my aunt is already there with her husband and their two (adult) children”, he explains: “I ask my parents to wait outside for a bit so they can finish up their visit without overwhelming my wife and I, but my aunt is polite and decides to cut her time short.

"Without asking, my mother takes the baby and undoes his swaddle.”

He continued: “An hour later, my parents are still there and my in-laws show up, their grandson in tow.

“My wife tells them that they can't bring him in. Their grandson starts to cry and my MIL starts to scold us for forbidding children, so my father pipes up saying that we're being too coddling.”

His parents told him he was being “cold” and “rude” and his mother said it is “her right to visit the baby when she pleases and shouldn’t have to RSVP”.

He also claimed that his wife’s parents told her to “crack down” on him, or they wouldn’t be back to visit the baby again.

Now, the new mother has agreed that they were being “too combative”, while the father – who wrote the post – doesn’t think he was in the wrong.

He wrote: “I really don't think I was that wrong in exercising my boundaries, and I think that them not listening is proof it was needed.”

People on the forum have replied to the post, with many saying he was completely in the right.

One person replied to the story with: “Your kid, your rules. You and your wife need to have a serious conversation about expectations in dealing with family and how best to project a united front while dealing with them.”

Others have sided with the grandparents, with one person commenting: “You have a right to set boundaries. With that being said, your boundaries are bit ridiculous, and you’re taking away a grandmother’s very special time.”

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